By Elsibe Loubser, term definitions by Karl Lilje
Have you read Karl Lilje’s review on Nag magazine? (Kommentaar op NAG mag: BattleField 3) . Even if you’re not a geek (and that equates to cool/kewl), chances are that you are on Twitter or Facebook, or perhaps you’re acquainted with The Urban Dictionary. And subsequently, you probably encounter many words and terms that are no longer just nice-to-know. They’re need-to-know, FFS!
So you don’t know what geek-speak is? Or leet? (Oops, I’m not allowed to use that yet … read on to find out why.) We talked to our writer, Karl Lilje, and he banged out instant dictionary notes – it’s just what you’ll need for your geek-ucation.
Image courtesy of olibrius.tonsite.biz
Anything that takes too long to type gets you killed, so shorter word forms are always used (eg. no one will ever use the term ‘Ghillie’ in a game; that would be gay. But for more about that term, keep reading).
So here’s my gaming dictionary so far:
40mm = A rifle-mounted grenade launcher. Usage usually followed by the phrase, “nice ‘nade, noob“.
Admin = A person who polices an online game. Someone is cheating? Call your mommy. I mean, admin. Admins play too, so expect leniency. Admins also kick players sometimes, which means a player is removed from the game temporarily so that he can cool down or reconsider his cheating tactics. Note: no testicles are actually harmed in the kicking of these players. That would lead to a lawsuit…and sore genitals.
BC3 = Bad Company 3. Everyone’s talking about it. Bad Company 2 is the game you bought your kid for Christmas before he disappeared mysteriously and that smell started coming from the spare room. It is predicted that when BC4 comes out the world’s streets will be empty forever.
Camper = You’re imagining teams of boys going into the woods and pitching a tent next to the lake…no, that would be gay. Camping means hiding out and waiting for enemies to come past, rather than run around looking for trouble. It’s a derogatory term used by people who like to run around looking for trouble – which is most gamers.
CAPITALS = Any sentence typed accidently in capitals is extremely rude and usually followed by extreme apologies and online blushing. It is considered shouting on the net.
COD = No, not your fishy dinner, but the game – Call of Duty (AKA: BC3′s number one nemesis). We don’t talk about Call of Duty anymore. COD is lame.
Dev = Your friendly neighbourhood game developer and software creator. Devs are gods, and usually burnt at the stake in forums when things go wrong.
Emo = Emotional. Emotions are wrong, unless it’s anger and aimed at people with guns that are trying to kill you. Then they’re moderately acceptable.
Fail = As in you tried, you failed, you’re an idiot. eg. “Hey, did you hear about that teacher that died horribly in a skydiving accident? LOL fail.” Superlative form: ‘epic fail‘ meaning that you didnt just fail at something, you failed at it horribly. Epic fails are usually accompanied by a warm undertone of embarrassment for the failer…or maybe that’s just them wetting themselves.
FFS = For fucksakes. Usually used to express frustration or disbelief. eg. “My team keeps losing – FFS!” or “FFS! What noobs!”
Frag = Death by fragmenting grenade. It’s a verb. eg. “I fragged that noob”.
FTW = For the win. ie. the winning strategy. eg. “Dad bought me a car FTW” . Win is good. Win is love. We like the win.
Gay = Put down the CNA psychology books, your kids are not talking about the homosexual, homophobic, or homoerotic things they get up to after school, they’re talking about stuff that deviates from the herd of the gaming scene. If someone runs the wrong way in a map or makes a strange new plan, they’re gay. Gay means childish. Gay can mean bad, or stupid, or fucking retarded, depending on what the admin allows in text. Gay is a short word that can be typed with one hand while sniping with the mouse.
Gilly suit = A suit for snipers made to look like a mop so they can blend into plants. Also called a ‘Wookie suit’. If you don’t know what a Wookie is, then you don’t deserve a pulse (see the Star Wars movie series for further information). A sniping hill is called Wookie Mountain – that’s where you’ll find a long row of noobs who all get knifed one by silent one.
Hax, hacks = A game hack – someone who uses an extra program to help them aim (an Aimbot), or see through walls (wallbot).
Helo = This is not a greeting. If you hear “helo”, you’d better run! It means an enemy chopper is approaching.
L33T = Elite. Simply the best. Yes, better than all the rest. Don’t use this word. Using it is not L33T unless you’re L33T, and then you can do whatever. ‘Cause your awesome.
Lag = Nee, dis nie snaaks nie. It means there is latency in terms of the network protocol that is affecting data packet delivery times resulting in inconsistent framerates. In English, your game is running too slow for you to play it properly. Your kid who failed maths and can’t spell knows how networks work. Do you? Most deaths are blamed on Lagging, Noobs, or Hax.
LOL = Laugh Out Loud. Even old people know what this means! We know because it embarrasses us when they use it. Only write “lol” if you actually did, otherwise just smile . Eventually there will be only 4 emotions. LOL, , :/, and :’( (AKA: I’m laughing out loud, I’m smiling, I dunno, and I’m crying). Superlatives: ’LMAO’, ‘LMFAO’ and ‘ROFL’ (AKA: Laugh My Ass Off, Laugh My Fucking Ass Off and Rolling On the Floor Laughing). The term LMFAO has become so accepted into pop culture that there is a music group named after it! (Listen to ‘LMFAO – Party Rock anthem’).
MMORPG – Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. A game that has a giant map, a society of thousands, and may not even have a final winning scenario. People take on roles – sometimes multiple personas – and you can be sure all the hot young female avatars are, in reality, hairy old men who surf one-handed. All the girls are called Dark Raven.
Nade = A grenade. Sometimes teams throw all of theirs at once called ‘nade spamming’.
Newb/newbie = A person new at something who is actively learning. They’re innocent virgins and are treated with respect (after they apologise for being new). Newbies are babies in the gaming world and should know their place – beneath the cyber feet of everyone else.
Nice = Skillful
Noob = A bad player. Noobs usually choose to be snipers, wear gilly suits and get knifed in the back by medics 3 to the dozen. Noob is not the same as Newb. Don’t DARE call a newbie a noob, you n00b!
Noob T ube = A bazooka. Causes a big explosion…that tends to miss everyone.
OMG = No, OMD is not making a comeback. It means ‘Oh My God’ (or ‘Oh My Gosh’ for the more religious or sensitive)
RPG = A rocket-powered grenade. RPG usage is semi-noob. Knifing up close is nice.
RTS = Real Time Strategy game.
Soz = Sorry. Sometimes you accidently kill your team-mates. Not saying ‘soz’ will get you lots of insults and crying. People who kill their teamies and don’t say ‘soz’ are sometimes kicked by the admin.
STFU = Shut the fuck up. Usually a command aimed at noobs. eg. “STFU noob” – stop whining at me when I kill you. Or when you kill me.
Troll = Someone who nitpicks instead of contributing, a member of the spelling police, or someone who picks a fight for no reason other than passive aggression. Nobody likes trolls. Nobody.
Whatever = You’re wrong, but I’ll agree so you’ll go away and stop bitching. eg. Pro: “Your a stupid noob”. Noob: “Whatever”. Not the same as “or whatever”, which means I don’t want to look ‘unkewl’ so I’ll make as if it doesn’t matter, but secretly it does. Noob: can we kick the haxs pls, or whatever? (translation – I really want them kicked or I’m going to have an Emo episode with a knife after you fall asleep).
ZEROMG – the Online Manual of Gamespeak for newbs
The English contraction evolution – for people who don’t know or care about how to use the language properly. Yes, idiots and lazy fingers are on the rise so we must adapt and aim to cater for all people :
Their = They’re. Where are your parents? Their away. Nice.
Your = The new form of “you’re”, pronounced yore.
The words evolved, get over it, otherwise your kids will think your retarded.
We hope you liked Karl’s dictionary!
And with that in mind, here’s what I figured out about the terms in Karl’s Nag magazine review.
- noob = A bad player that gets ragged on constantly. Easily confused with a ‘newb’ or ‘newbie’ . A controversial term amongst gamers.
- BC3 = The game Bad Company 3
- dev = developers that are either worshipped or staked, depending on how well their game was made.
- Dice = A gaming company
- Gilly suit = Wikipedia says this is spelt ghillie suit / camouflage clothing, but gamers will definitely not agree … see Karl’s note above about one letter too much being a waste of time and subsequent death, so, yeah, it’s not spelt ghillie! It’s gilly (two letters shorter!).
- L33t = leetspeak / leet / 1337 = Wikipedia claims that this is an alternative alphabet for the English language primarily used on the Internet; leet is also an adjective to describe formidable prowess or accomplishment, especially in the fields of online gaming and computer hacking. But only leets will truly know. We call it ‘geek-speak’ so everyone knows what we’re talking about.
- Sleeper hit = a common term used in all media for a film, game, or book that made a lot of money despite having no marketing or hype. It derives from sleeper agent.
Awesomeness! You have officially received your first lesson in geek-ucation. If there are any terms that we’ve missed and you would like to add, please dont hesitate to let us know by posting them on your fanpage wall, sending us a twitter message or commenting right beneath this post!
Live long and prosper and may the force be with you!