Rock the River New Year’s Festival (31 Dec 2011 – 2 Jan 2012)

[English]

By Joe Azrail (aka SL)

Photos by Dominique Reviglio and Lupa Photography

*****

Day 1. Destination: West Coast Ostrich Ranch…

Dusty. Chaotic. A scene out of an old western epic. A watering hole (presumably river), activities to keep all the “kids” happy such as paintball (ouch), zorb ball (dizzy), and rodeo bull (die hard), and, spread out over three stages, all the live entertainment a music festival junkie can pop, snort, inject and smoke in the space of three days. Sadly, if you weren’t there you missed a pretty well-wrapped-up New Year’s festival.

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

As I entered the furiously disorganised car park, reminiscent of a destruction derby race, thanking the heavens for the salvation that waits at the end, I encountered the Electro stage and a slew of market stalls selling all kinds of trinkets and eats. The electro stage was thumping a bass line so hard only a pill-popping broad and her Chihuahua could have enjoyed it on a blistering Saturday afternoon. I opted for the shade near a bar, of course, readying myself for what was to come.

After a drink or three I moved on to the monstrous main stage, complete with guard rails and bouncers, to keep adoring fans out and precious musos in. The first act I got to see, Skelmbosch, was pretty damned good-sounding with solid tracks and a sombre performance that kept the milling audience interested enough to hold out until their next drink. I then scurried off to see what the third and final stage had to offer. The elusive Metal stage, which to some may be the pinnacle of all that’s evil, seemed to be where the most hardened and dedicated support was hanging out. And hang out they did.

Arc Reactor

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

The band, Arc Reactor, was ripping the Metal stage a new hole with their Korn inspired Nu–Metal stomp and their front man spewing out heaps of energy to his adoring fans like a crack addict going cold turkey. Pretty exciting to watch. Spoilt for choice, for the next couple of hours I ducked and dived between the two stages.

Smugg Juggler

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

The main stage’s Smugg Juggler was next conquest for my ears. This band is interesting, to say the least, with a great stage savvy, at times outdoing their peers. Being very progressive, they offered another solid performance, despite the fact that, at times, they lost their own plot a bit. At this point my mind started to get a bit light and fuzzy, but it was soon cleared by the ear-violating MC who made quite the introduction for the all-girl Punk outfit Junkyard Lipstick. What these girls might lack in musical skill is outshined by an awesome love and energy. With a rocking stage performance, these girls are also quite easy on the eye. Their appeal is immense.

Axxon

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

With each passing hour it got harder and harder to concentrate on any one performance as it blended with yet another, but Wildernessking, at the Metal stage, caught my attention. An impressive act. Next up was Axxon. Let’s call them Goth-Industrial with a hint of hardcore Metal and lashings of great energy.

The group wasn’t given the support they deserved, because by this time of the afternoon most patrons had fled back to their tents for a bit of R&R in preparation for the evening’s mass suicide of entertainment. I followed suit and later returned to the main stage to listen to the kicking old school Rock & Rollers, My Flawless Endings. Unfortunately I couldn’t enjoy them fully because of the offending material being projected from the Metal stage, which was just within earshot.

The Marching Dead

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

I made my way to see what this abomination of sound was, only to have my balls blown off by the immense ferocity and technical tightness of The Marching Dead. These boys were covered in the blood of the crowd they had just slaughtered, and, soaking the music in, I delighted at the thought of what the next eye gouging band was going to be.

Boombox Troopers

Photo by Lupa Photography

I ducked mid-set to the main stage to catch a glimpse of funky Punk preps, Boombox Troopers giving the audience their admission fee’s worth. I swung and bobbed my head to an all-too familiar beat before getting roped in to have my sobriety checked by the mad hatters and godfathers of the drunk anthem Half Price.

Their inspired obscenity got me singing along to a toked out cover of Bob Marley’s Iron like a Lion in Zion.

I was then dragged by my eardrums to the Metal stage to witness the brutality unleashed on the audience, offered platter-style, by The Warinsane, and I completely missed Peachy Keen’s act. The Warinsane’s front man Wally, possibly the most drunk then sobered-up madmen at the festival, levitated and soared around the stage like a crazed banshee. Another great gig.

Hog Hoggidy Hog

Photo by Lupa Photography

By then it was getting late and my sobriety was thinning faster than blood into wine so I headed back to the main stage to be pork rocked by none other than Hog Hoggidy Hog, who, after a decade of entertaining their fans, are still hanging them from their mic stands. A thoroughly crazy and ear-rupturing experience.

Day 1 down. Well, sort of; I crawled back to my tent with a hangover to nurture in preparation for another day of blistering heat and feet. My head started to pulsate along to the soothing beats of Rubadub as they took to the decks on the Electro stage and I drifted away to the countdown, letting dreams in as fireworks tore open the sky.

 Day 2.

Day 2. Here we go. I woke up and sneakily made a duck for my spot in Table View, literally a flick of a duck’s mandible from the festival grounds. To my surprise, most patrons had done the same, so I didn’t feel quite so bad about not staying and roughing it out like some of my crack buddies.

I arrived back a little too late to witness the huge exodus that had occurred while I’d been at home washing the sin off for a couple of hours. Slightly put out, I headed back to the main stage to be met by Fingers in the Sky. And in the sky they were. Or maybe it was their crowd as they floated to the band’s melodic foray into the underworld of chord progressions.

Chasing Friday

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

I then headed back to the Metal stage to have another hole blown in my head by dirty rockers Chasing Friday. The group mocked the fact that they were too ugly to play the main stage, which sort of rang true. Their few fans who had persevered through their hangovers really enjoyed the show. As did I. As they ended I caught a bit of CY.STR bring it hard with their white boy Rap and Emo Roll as I lay in the Red Bull tent anticipating my hangover.

The Stremes

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

Back at the main stage the all-talented and rock-steady act The Stremes, with sheer brilliant accuracy, managed to impale my pounding head with a much appreciated free album throw out – my first free trinket all festival. I was soon drawn back to the Metal stage, though, by the heaving and heavy breathing of presumed newcomers Messiah Complex. They tore it up with their brutal sounds.

The Summer Underground

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

The Summer Underground marched in over after their peers with a sound reminiscent of Zak Wyldes’ chugging guitar and with a front man straight out of Hed(pe). Great stuff, if you’re into that. Yet another fiver was deserved as I heard the sounds of Signal Hill, Jackal & Wolf, Silent Side and Samson coming furiously off the main stage and appeasing the zombie-like patrons in their effort to stay upright and forage for more booze and good times.

Crossfire Collision

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

Now, to my right I was focusing on the sombre but fun 90s-inspired Punk sounds of Crossfire Collision who were followed by Die Gunstons with an all-too charismatic front man smoking and drinking his way onstage into the History books or an early grave.

Die Gunstons

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

Black Moscow on the main stage was a band I had looked forward to seeing, but I was a bit disappointed by their performance. Tight set though. The acts Bicycle Thief, Woodstock Mafia, Stone Collar and The Sleepers seem to be a distant memory brought on by the near blackout I faced either from a solar eclipse or an eclipse of my heartbeat, but as I moved diligently onto the Metal stage I eventually came around.

I witnessed The Shredder Showdown, which started off solid but ended quite dismally with lead guitarists who are obviously great in their respective bands but sadly paled when put together. Oh well.

Terminatryx

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

I then got ready to witness Electro-Metal and visually appealing rockers Terminatryx take to the stage. They did professionally, but their soundman cued in on some of the tracks a little too early. Despite that, a tight and entertaining set, to say the least.

Bulletscript

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

Bulletscript was up next, but I’ll leave this band’s review up to the fans. Moving on. On came the mighty Mind Assault and, shit man, what a show! Their performance rivalled if not obliterated the main stage’s performances in its quality and showmanship. The backdrop was covered in info secrecy bill flags, and band members were wearing South African flags as sarongs, and they even introduced a Burlesque dancer at one point! The show was so awesome that I completely forgot about the rest of the festival. What a treat! More bands need to step up to the plate for this kind of entertainment.

Mind Assault

Reburn

Photos by Lupa Photography

In the distance I could hear the all-familiar sounds of Reburn as they wailed their Rock anthems into the wind while their bevy of female fans ate them up as if sugar-coated Gucci bags had been thrown into the audience. Next up were The Suiderbees who were provocatively deafening and brutal. Nice one guys. I then swung back to the main stage to see festival headliners Fokofpolisiekar cut their fans down. Powerful stuff.

Fokofpolisiekar

Photo by Lupa Photography

Juke Royal was the band that closed the festival, which they did in their cutesy, cheery way, with the help of a very well-spoken front man, who left you with a disturbingly happy feeling in your gut.

Day 3

That, in a two-day mini-series, ended the bands, sun and fun. The third day was dismantle day. A lot of work for the organisers, but it was met with the sound of my tyres screeching from dirt to tar.

Thanks guys, see you next year!

Photo by Dominique Reviglio

Tagged as: Arc Reactor, Arts, Axxon, Bob Marley, Crossfire Collision, Dead, Junkyard Lipstick, Main stage, Music festival, Musical ensemble, Rock The River, Saturday, Table View, Terminatryx, The Marching Chasing Friday, The Stremes, The Summer Underground, Zorbing